S3@.x:’ is all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Feelings aren’t the only things susceptible to injury; here are 9 positions to break your rake.
Pen.!s fracture. While it may sound funny, it is a real and dangerous threat that could happen anytime during S3@.x:’. One wrong move in the throes of passion could turn your supposedly-blissful night into a bloody painful nightmare.
Just imagine your [email protected] ass being dragged toward the emergency room on a gurney, while you’re in too much pain to pay heed to the snickering and smirks of the people you pass by. You can only hope that your surgeon is good, or else you may live the rest of your life without S3@.x:’—or worse, be impotent.
You may think that your wiener is as tough as nails, with its ability to get hard and all that, but in fact, it is most susceptible to injury when it is erect. Breaking your member is not as simple as a sprained wrist; it is lined to the core with blood vessels responsible for getting it all up. This means that accidentally breaking it puts you at risk for internal hemorrhaging that could lead to permanent damage.
Broken Pen.!ses and dangerous S3@.x:’ positions
Before you try all the positions in the Kama Sutra, you should pay attention to several positions that increase your chance of developing a broken Pen.!s. Remember not to try any dangerous S3@.x:’ positions that are beyond your physical capabilities… or you might end up in an emergency room.
#1 The cowgirl position. The cowgirl position is notorious for causing most cases of Pen.!s fracture. In this position, the guy lies on his back while the girl rides on top. The position is quite risky, since the guy has little control over movement, making the Pen.!s prone to slip out. In most cases, the Pen.!s slipped out during the course of S3@.x:’ while the girl brought down her whole weight on it, resulting in a scene like a hammer crushing a bug. Ouch.
#2 Doggy style. Penetration from behind is the second most dangerous S3@.x:’ position. While the guy is in complete control of the thrusts, he may get carried away and play it rough. The harder you thrust, the greater the risk for your Pen.!s to slip out and take on a wrong angle. To illustrate what happens next, imagine running at full speed and then hitting a stone wall… boner first.
#3 Countertop/tabletop S3@.x:’. Spontaneous S3@.x:’ can be quite hot, but is not without risk. S3@.x:’ is safer in the bedroom because you’re more in level with your partner on a bed. Now, if you’re doing it on an unconventional surface *such as the counter top of your kitchen or atop your office desk*, you’re not always sure that the table is proportional to your height. Poor aim and a sudden loss of balance could lead to you slamming your member into a cold, hard surface.
#4 Non-penetrative S3@.x:’. If you’re into boob sandwiches, you might want to consider something else. Pen.!ses are supposed to be parked inside a V@.g!na. Anything other than that may have certain risks. Many men have broken their Pen.!ses attempting to give their partner a pearl necklace. Remember: beneath that supple chest is a layer of bones. Your lump of muscle is no match against a woman’s sternum.
#5 The helicopter. The helicopter is another variation of the woman-on-top position, only this time, she’s turning around with every hump. Talk about twice the danger to your Pen.!s! Unless she’s really precise and is sure your meat rod will land inside her, your dong will always be in danger of being crushed.
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