Finding a one night stand is a challenge. Is it possible to have a great hookup with no strings attached, no weirdness, and no regret afterward?
Well, the answer is a resounding yes, and there are actually surefire ways to find a one night stand, get them into bed, and have lots of fun without that “what did I do?” feeling come dawn!
How to find an awesome one night stand
If you want to meet, attract, and seduce a potential one night stand, there are actually plenty of ways to go about it. Here are 13 tips to guarantee securing a one night stand without feeling sleazy, or waking up in a full-on relationship!
#1 Find out where they‘ll be. Some venues simply don’t work if you are looking for a casual hookup. Do some research into local bars and clubs in your area where it is more likely people will be out, looking for a good time.
Quiet pubs, low key nights, or anywhere too fancy should be off your list. Look for places where you know there’ll be a young, fun crowd—where drinks are flowing and music is blaring. [Not quite ready for the full monty?
Places with a great dance floor and DJ are your best bet, but also check out whether there is space set aside to sit and chat, too. This combination works well, as you’ll want a place where you can get to know him/her better.
Also think about distance from your apartment/hotel—the nearer the better. At the end of the evening, if you have to get a long cab ride back, it might be off-putting. Plus, they will think about having to get home again in the morning, and how difficult it might be.
#2 Know what to look for. People who are up for a good time and open to meeting, chatting, and hooking up with others behave differently in clubs.
They’ll be the ones dressed to impress, laughing at the bar, and looking around, making eye contact with others. People who are huddled in groups and keeping to themselves are unlikely to be the best ones to approach.
#3 Go out with friends *but not too many*. For your best chances of meeting a potential one night stand, go out with a friend or two with a similar goal in mind. A huge group will be intimidating and distracting, but two or three single people work well.
It also means if you spot someone you want to go home with, you have friends who can chat to their friends, so they aren’t left feeling like a gooseberry, and potentially sabotaging your chances by insisting their friend talks/dances/leaves with them.
#4 Get flirty, straight away. If you want a hookup, make it obvious. There is no point in getting too comfortable/polite in a conversation, unless you are looking for a new friend or potential date. Be confident, but not crude. Touch, but don’t grope. You’ll soon know if they are interested. If they don’t reciprocate or back off, it may be time to look elsewhere.
Let’s face it: if they aren’t that comfortable getting a little physical when out and about, what is the likelihood they will be up for casual S3@.x:’ later? You don’t want to waste your time if that’s all you’re after, so unless you are up for a real challenge, simply move on!
#5 Turn the conversation to S3@.x:’. We all love talking about S3@.x:’, right? Especially after a couple of drinks! So after you’ve had an initial flirty conversation, try to steer things this direction.
Remember: it’s important not to be creepy or come on too strong, while at the same time making it pretty obvious what you’re after. Compliment them, but don’t be sleazy or too romantic. For example, tell them you think they are S3@.x:’y and hot—don’t tell them they are beautiful, gorgeous, or that they have nice eyes.
Get close when you’re talking, and whisper in their ear to make it more intimate. Breathing in the other person’s ear is seriously S3@.x:’y and makes them think about doing it, too!
You need to be able to comfortably talk about S3@.x:’ without bragging or listing previous conquests. Don’t, whatever you do, come across as awkward or desperate. They’ll think that’s what you like in bed and this, understandably, is a major turn off! You don’t have to be too serious, either. Teasing is a great way to flirt, and lots of things about S3@.x:’ are funny, so use humor to laugh your one night stand all the way to the bedroom. [Not sure how to get started?
#6 Understand what is in and out of your control. Whatever you do, keep a cool head, and know you can’t control everything—even if you have mastered all the best hookup techniques.
Their friend might get sick, or something might happen to change the mood. What you can control is the way you approach someone and talk to them, where you plan to go if you do score, and whether you have adequate protection.
Do these things sensibly and well, and if random events mean you lose your one night stand, then just let it go!
#7 Don‘t stay until the end of the night. There is no greater mood killer than the lights coming up and the music coming to an abrupt stop at the end of the night. Don’t wait for this to happen. It is always best to get out while the getting is good.
Come closing time, friends who have been helpfully leaving you alone all evening will make a reappearance, or your potential one night stand might wander off to get their coat and never return. Also, staying out so late means they’ll be more tired and have had more to drink, which makes the idea of coming home with you instead of to their own safe bed a lot less appealing.
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