Whether adding spice to the bedroom or entertaining yourself between classes. If you’re watching P@.rn, at least watch the best with the best P@.rno ever.
These days, you can literally find anything online. You want live S3@.x:’? Easily click on any webcam site. You want anal beads? Have those babies delivered right to your front door the same day. But what happened to quality? Now, it’s all about accessibility, but that doesn’t mean you’re getting good wholesome P@.rn. If you want the best P@.rno ever — read on!
Best P@.rno ever – The greatest must-see adult films of all-time
Occasionally, take the higher road and watch some classics. I mean I get it, sometimes you just want to see some raw, homemade, webcam material, which is fine. However, it’s nice to bring yourself up-to-date with the classics.
You know, the Martin Scorsese of P@.rn. Watch Linda Lovelace, Seka, Ron Jeremy. The OG’s of P@.rn. If you don’t know who they are, well, how can you possibly call yourself a lover of P@.rn? Exactly.
P@.rn isn’t just P@.rn, it’s art.
#1 The Opening of Misty Beethoven, 1976. This is one of the crown jewels of P@.rn, one of the founding fathers of P@.rn. The Opening of Misty Beethoven was directed by Radley Metzger who was known for engaging screenplays and unusual camera angles.
Basically, Metzger was known for producing P@.rnographic art. The film’s about a S3@.x:’ologist who attempts to transform an ordinary Pr@.$t!tute into a goddess.
#2 Deep Throat, 1972. You’ve probably at least heard of Deep Throat. Directed by Gerard Damiano and starred the Linda Lovelace, who came to be one of the most famous P@.rnogrpahic actresses ever. It ended up getting mainstream attention.
Linda Lovelace plays a S3@.x:’ually frustrated woman who asks her friend advice on how to have an org@.$m *they didn’t have LovePanky at the time, obviously*. Lovelace ends up going to a doctor who helps her develop her oral S3@.x:’ skills. I kid you not, that’s actually the plot of the film. With a plot like this, how could it not become a classic?
#3 Taboo, 1980. Well, this movie is still pretty taboo. It’s about a S3@.x:’ually frustrated mother who attempts to explore her S3@.x:’uality. She continues to repress it, however, ends up having S3@.x:’ with her son. And shockingly, he shares the same feelings towards her.
Yes, people, this movie is about incest. Now you get why it’s named Taboo? Though the subject is relatively risky, they somehow successfully pull it off and people love it.
#4 Cafe Flesh, 1982. If you’re into post-apocalyptic themed films and S3@.x:’, well, then you just found your film. Cafe Flesh was directed by Stephen Sayadian and he wanted to make a P@.rno film that blended S3@.x:’ and sci-fi together. After an apocalypse, 99% of the survivors become violently ill if they try to have S3@.x:’.
So, those still able to have S3@.x:’, join forces and open a theater to entertain the S3@.x:’ prohibited survivors. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, but just watch the film before you judge. It’s quite the spectacle.
#5 Debbie Does Dallas, 1978. Oh, yes she did, Debbie did Dallas. This film stars Bambi Woods and is about a cheerleading team trying to earn enough money to send Bambi Woods to the “Texas Cowgirls” cheerleading audition.
Though this movie comes with a bunch of sequels, this one is classic. In real life, Bambi Woods had tried out for the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders before making this film. As you can see, she didn’t make the team in real life. However, in film, they make your dreams come true.
#6 Caligula, 1979. If you’re a history buff, then you’ll enjoy this throwback to the Roman period. Actually, this film was and still is controversial, but it remains a cult classic. It has quite an elaborate plot, and I’ll try to squeeze it into a couple sentences.
It’s basically about the rise and fall of the Roman Emperor Caligula. It’s filled with backstabbing, political satire mixed with S3@.x:’ual and violent content.
#7 Flashpoint X, 1998. If you haven’t watched a P@.rno with Jenna Jameson in it, then you’re doing it all wrong. She’s basically the queen of P@.rn. Which shows, as this film has one of the biggest budgets in the adult film industry of all time. The plot is simple, Jenna Jameson is essentially a hot and horny firefighter that puts out fires.
It’s not deep or overly artistic. However, it’s one of the most well known adult films, so you just have to cross it off your list.
#8 Blonde Ambition, 1981. If you like musicals and S3@.x:’, well then you’ll love Blonde Ambition. Though it’s a P@.rno film, it’s not really focused on S3@.x:’. I mean, it is, but you’ll spend more time laughing. It’s about two young singers/dancers that are offered jobs in New York.
After catching a ride with a millionaire, he lets them stay in his apartment. Well, then obviously you can figure out what happens next.
#9 Pirates, 2005. Possibly one of the most talked about films in the P@.rn industry. Pirates is a spin-off of the movie Pirates of the Caribbean, the family, Johnny Depp-loving film without any d.!cks showing on screen.
Okay, so Pirates is basically the same but with Jenna Jameson and d.!cks. The reason why this film is so well-known is because they went all out on the production for this. They had special effects, and it was also filmed on a real pirate ship.
#10 Upload, 2007. This film has a very X-Files vibe to it, and also stars big names like Eva Angelina and Kylie Ireland.
One of the biggest-budget movies to be produced in film, it turned out to be a huge hit. It has everything, the big lights and expensive cameras, so it doesn’t compare to the webcam P@.rn you’ve been watching on your laptop. There’s also a giant plot twist at the end, so, if you’re looking for suspense and surprise, there you go.
So, take a break from your live S3@.x:’ chat and watch some of these classics if you’re looking for the best P@.rno ever. If you’re that much into P@.rn, do it an honor and know the classics.